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Zoë Foster Blake’s Break-up Boss

Every love-related situation I’ve navigated, every crush I’ve worked through, every heartbreak I’ve survived, the toxic parts of me I’ve left behind, the strong parts of me I’ve developed; I owe it all to Zoë.

Break-up Boss by Zoë Foster Blake is a life changer in the utmost sense of the term, but let it quickly be known that it’s not for everyone, depending on emotional state and the recency of heartbreak (but I do not care how long it takes - get to this book eventually or I’ll personally come to your house and read it to you while you ask how I got into your bedroom and threaten me with calling the police). I tried to shove this book down a friend’s throat once when she was doing psycho shit like waiting at the end of her ex’s street for him to come home from work when he’d made it clear he wanted her to fuck outta his life. This book didn’t work for her then because she simply wasn’t ready. She enjoyed this toxic cat and mouse lifestyle and frankly didn’t want to feel better. Each to their own, I guess.

Truthfully, Break-up Boss will kick your ass. It’s real. It calls you out. It’s scarily relatable. But that’s the magic of it; to grow, to love yourself, to understand your worth… you absolutely cannot have everything sugar-coated. Sugar tastes sweet in the moment but it’s fucking bad for you. Your dentist will yell at you. It’ll also keep you in negative cycles; blaming yourself, idolising your piece-of-shit ex, wondering what’s wrong with you. (It’s nothing, btw. Unless you fucked their best friend or killed their cat… check yourself before you wreck yourself, babe).

Either way, this negativity is simply not it. Not here, sunshine. Pull your fucking socks up. You got shit to do. It’s your time to flourish, as Zoë says.

Zoë has an immaculate ability to support you - more than your best friend probably can - through fucking ink on a page. She makes you ugly cry because she describes your exact situation, she makes you feel whimsically hopeful because she proves you can make it through the most embarrassing setbacks, and she makes you feel dangerously empowered because she explains how to treat yourself like a queen. Not to mention, the book includes gorgeous and empathetic illustrations by Mari Andrew.

The chapters cover everything you need when you’re in a full-on fist fight with the logical half of you that wants to block your ex and focus on yourself and the emotional half of you that wants to burn your ex’s house to flames or send 1000 red roses to their house. The titles of the chapters range from “I Can’t Do This” to “I Hate Them”, covering the different phases of a breakup. The contents of the book itself include a full arsenal for heartbreak-school with grounding techniques, general explanations of why breakups happen, validation for the feeling that the world just exploded around you, motivation to come out of this personal hell with the sun shining out your ass, and thought-out action plans for impulses you’ll feel.

Look, I can’t do this book justice through one stupid post, and that’s annoying me. But this book saved me. SAVED ME, I’M TELLING YOU! I was so heck lucky to discover it after my first heartbreak. My entire adult outlook on life was shaped by this book and it makes me cringe to think what would have happened if I didn’t find it. Good GOD, I PROBABLY WOULD HAVE TURNED UP ON MY EX’S DOORSTEP WITH HIS NAME TATTOOED ACROSS MY FOREHEAD.

My ex was the love of my god damn motherfucking life and I was going to fucking die without him, but Zoë taught me that no boy will ever be worth more than I am. Thank fuck I didn’t try to get him back with me, genuinely. And lol, I’ve already loved someone else more than I loved that ex, yet I thought I was gonna die. Love is funny.

To wrap it up, Zoë has my heart and I owe her every sense of my empowered female love life. She truly teaches you how to be a boss.

Zoë, if you’re reading this, thank you for making me fall in love with being single. That shit is taboo for females, and I went to therapy for fearing singledom before I read your book so many times I could practically start reciting the entire 219-page book to strangers on the bus.

Man oh man, is there a religion dedicated to this lady yet?!

Go and check out Break-up Boss right now. There’s even an app!

<3  Sep 2021

(What are you still doing here?! I said GO CHECK IT OUT. HURRY UP!)


Visit Zoë on Instagram  Visit Mari on Instagram

Break-up Boss

Book at Penguin   Website and app


Visit Zoë's website and blog

© Lonely as F*ck

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